First off I would like to thank the foundation for recognizing me with this award. It is a great feeling to receive an award from you all. I have really come to sincerely care about each of you very much and I truly respect, admire, and appreciate all that you have done to make this world a better place. You make manifest what all of us in the community wish we could do and without your tireless efforts to erase hate, bigotry and intolerance, many souls would still be fighting alone in the dark.
I have to say that I cannot accept this award only in my name, because without the love, support and encouragement from all the people whom have walked with me at one point or another in this journey called life, I would not have come to the same place I am today. There once were many moments where I simply didn't want to wake up the next morning, where facing the new day was crippling to my spirit.
It has always been the deep and endless love I have felt for my friends and family that pushed me to get up and face the world. It is my coaches, my teachers, my teammates and my best friends who all have taught me about how beautiful life truly is and how thankful I am simply to breathe in the cold crisp air and enjoy the setting sun. It is through them whom I have learned to respect life and to cherish every moment I have been given.
And of course, my biggest source of strength and inspiration, my family. To me, this award is as much theirs as it is mine. I've always been given so much love from my family that its hard to imagine where I would be without them. I'm the kind of kid that never needed hero's growing up, because I've always had my mom, dad and sister to look up to. My mom is this strong, courageous person who is genuine through and through. She's always been the one to pick me up after I fall and to dust me off and tell me to keep on moving forward. My dad is one of the kindest and wisest people I have ever met. He's the kind of person most men want to be and is always there for people he loves, especially me. My sister possesses so much strength and beauty as a human person, she inspires me everyday. She's always given herself to others, particularly those who are lonely, and has truly blessed my life with her very presence. As an example of her eternal giving, the first thing she said to me when I came out to her was " I'll carry your partners kids like Feebee from friends did for her brother." My family is so wonderful and I'm so glad they could be with me tonight and I am forever grateful for the unconditional love they give me. In this world I truly know how blessed I am and I wish that every moment for the rest of their lives, they could hear me saying "I love you and thank you so much."
Where I come from, I often am made to feel as if I am a monster. I know people who literally walk in opposite directions as me or cross the street so they can avoid me. The hardest part about that, is feeling so alone sometimes, out of place and untouchable. It is the love of my family, the love of my friends and the love of all of you that gets me through my day and lets me know that I am not alone.
And because I know this, I have been given the capacity to help others know they are not alone as well. It’s not the protests, the rallies, the days of silence, or the national coming out days that move me. It’s the countless hours I've spent talking to people about who they really are. It’s the nights I spent praying in the student chapel with someone who just lost his whole family after coming out to them. The nights I've stayed up till 7am helping a young lady know that she's not along and shouldn't fear herself or the world. Its dealing with issues of attempted suicide and checking in on my friend to make sure he was alright. Its reminding my trans friend that when she has her operation, the people she loves will still love her. The love that I have been given, the knowledge that loving life is a good thing and that knowing who you are and who you love is the most powerful thing in the world, is what drives me to help show them the way.
If I could say one thing to the world, it would be live life to the fullest each and every day and be thankful for everything you've been given, including yourself. Never let anyone tell you, your love is wrong. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said," To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." I believe that with all my heart.
Finally, I just want to acknowledge Judy and say thank you for all you have ever done. Not only have you given of yourself to me and my life, but to countless others with your love and encouragement. Being your friend has truly blessed my soul and I am truly honored to say," I love you very much and I hope for you only the very best."
Thank you so much again and I only hope to bestow this love you have so generously given me on others who need it just as much, if not more.
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Saturday, August 4, 2007
To All the People OUt There Who think they know what it means to be Homosexual
You know what's funny, you all talk about "gays" as if in this group of over 100,000 there aren't several gays here. I myself am a gay man, I am a part of this group and I am insulted by a lot of your comments. I think it's grotesque that you sit here assuming that everyone here is straight, that you are the only people on the planet to understand what it must mean to be gay, and further more, your blind fear shows itself in the quite primitive way you choose to view the subject.
I will have you know that sexuality is a fluid thing, one that exists in both you and I. In fact, what I think is so funny, is that I do sexually what many straight folk do, if not far less. Do you wanna talk about what I do in bed? Do I wanna hear about what you do in bed....not really. So I hink we all can agree that what ever "abomination" happens behind my closed doors, is the same kind of abomination that occurs behind your closed doors.
What's interesting about the religious take on it, the "sin" value of being gay, or more pointedly, is the fact that public opinion in this regard is so hypocritical. I mean, fine call sodomoy a sin and accuse anyone and everyone whose ever done it or even thought of it as going to hell. Deny them the right to be public about their relationships, fire them from their jobs, deny them the right to serve in our military, tell them that when their significant other is dying in the hospital, that they can't be with them, tell them that because they are a sodomite they can't have kids. Call them names, kick them out of their homes if you are their parents, etc, etc, etc.
But, if we do that for sodomy, then why not masturbation, why not the same discrimination that happens in society. Why don't we refuse the right to recieve medical insurance for anyone that's ever masturbated, deny them the right to marry a person whom they love. Prevent them from ever being alone, as parents kick them out of our homes and onto the streets, bully these "masturbators" in our schools, making them drop of out college.
The same goes for anyone that has ever had pre-marital sex, or anyone for that matter that has ever had sexual relations without the intent of creating life. Anyone who has ever had a wet dream, the list goes on and on. There are so many "sins"; "sins" which all are supposed to be seen as the same sin and treated with love and respect to "cure", and yet this one group of individuals is separated from our society, cast to the dark corners of our world and we talk about them as if they are over there.
What no one gets is that we live in and amongst you, some of us are you, and it's so funny that you all assume you're the only ones that knows what it's like to "live" a certain way. You assume I am immoral, a low life, a sinner, anything but a fellow human being like yourself. You assume that I do not love the person I am with, male or female and you degrade my very existence when you haven't even met me.
You have never walked through my shoes, nor have you seen the world through my eyes, and how dare you assume that my life is anything but beautiful, kind, loving, and all in all an amazing adventure that I too have been blessed to have, by the very same Creator, man, woman, it, that created you. My friends, we may have been created of different dusts, but are we all not human? Do I not bleed, as you bleed when someone cuts us? Do I not go home at night and cry myself to sleep, as you cry yourself to sleep when someone defiles our human dignity? Do I not laugh at myself when I make a mistake as you laugh at yourself? Do I not breathe in the same cool crisp air as you do on a winters day?
Prejudice speaks for itself, and I hope that as you re-read these entries you see how filled of it your comments are. If you cannot see my life as sacred as yours is, then how is that love? How is that respect for you common man?
All I ask, is that you please remember that...that's all. It's not my place to tell you what to think, but at least try to remember that I too have a mother, I have a father, I have a family and friends that love me just as much as yours do you. If I was your brother, your sister, or your friend, would you still say such hurtful things? Who knows, maybe I am.....
I will have you know that sexuality is a fluid thing, one that exists in both you and I. In fact, what I think is so funny, is that I do sexually what many straight folk do, if not far less. Do you wanna talk about what I do in bed? Do I wanna hear about what you do in bed....not really. So I hink we all can agree that what ever "abomination" happens behind my closed doors, is the same kind of abomination that occurs behind your closed doors.
What's interesting about the religious take on it, the "sin" value of being gay, or more pointedly, is the fact that public opinion in this regard is so hypocritical. I mean, fine call sodomoy a sin and accuse anyone and everyone whose ever done it or even thought of it as going to hell. Deny them the right to be public about their relationships, fire them from their jobs, deny them the right to serve in our military, tell them that when their significant other is dying in the hospital, that they can't be with them, tell them that because they are a sodomite they can't have kids. Call them names, kick them out of their homes if you are their parents, etc, etc, etc.
But, if we do that for sodomy, then why not masturbation, why not the same discrimination that happens in society. Why don't we refuse the right to recieve medical insurance for anyone that's ever masturbated, deny them the right to marry a person whom they love. Prevent them from ever being alone, as parents kick them out of our homes and onto the streets, bully these "masturbators" in our schools, making them drop of out college.
The same goes for anyone that has ever had pre-marital sex, or anyone for that matter that has ever had sexual relations without the intent of creating life. Anyone who has ever had a wet dream, the list goes on and on. There are so many "sins"; "sins" which all are supposed to be seen as the same sin and treated with love and respect to "cure", and yet this one group of individuals is separated from our society, cast to the dark corners of our world and we talk about them as if they are over there.
What no one gets is that we live in and amongst you, some of us are you, and it's so funny that you all assume you're the only ones that knows what it's like to "live" a certain way. You assume I am immoral, a low life, a sinner, anything but a fellow human being like yourself. You assume that I do not love the person I am with, male or female and you degrade my very existence when you haven't even met me.
You have never walked through my shoes, nor have you seen the world through my eyes, and how dare you assume that my life is anything but beautiful, kind, loving, and all in all an amazing adventure that I too have been blessed to have, by the very same Creator, man, woman, it, that created you. My friends, we may have been created of different dusts, but are we all not human? Do I not bleed, as you bleed when someone cuts us? Do I not go home at night and cry myself to sleep, as you cry yourself to sleep when someone defiles our human dignity? Do I not laugh at myself when I make a mistake as you laugh at yourself? Do I not breathe in the same cool crisp air as you do on a winters day?
Prejudice speaks for itself, and I hope that as you re-read these entries you see how filled of it your comments are. If you cannot see my life as sacred as yours is, then how is that love? How is that respect for you common man?
All I ask, is that you please remember that...that's all. It's not my place to tell you what to think, but at least try to remember that I too have a mother, I have a father, I have a family and friends that love me just as much as yours do you. If I was your brother, your sister, or your friend, would you still say such hurtful things? Who knows, maybe I am.....
A Rant on Love...to be continued
You know I may not be married yet, I may not even be at that point in my life where I am even ready to be married….but I do know this, and that is that one day I hope to be married.
I grew up with many of the same fairy tales and fantasies as many of my friends did, dreams of finding that special someone to grow old with, someone to raise children with, to build a home together, have a dog, a white picket fence, the dream. The dream that each and every American usually has. It is my dream and has been my dream for my entire life.
I also grew up reading stories like Romeo and Juliet, tales about an unaccepted love and how two star struck lovers had to find love in the most desperate circumstances. Where they had to give up everything for each other, because that’s how deep their love ran.
You know as a gay man, I never thought that love would be my greatest calling, growing up in a world that told you, you were a pervert, ugly, strange, and a sinner, I always felt as if I would be cast away to the darkest corners of the earth. It’s why as a youth I felt so alone and so isolated from the world, scared to reveal this hidden truth about who I really was.
What brought me out of the closet wasn’t some class bully or an exposed act of discretion, rather it was the great love I had for a friend. It was the first time in my life I had ever had a best friend, a real friend, a person that would walk with me, stay with me after school and invite me to all the things he was doing. It was the greatest thing I ever had had, because for once I didn’t feel alone. No this was not some gay love affair, my friend is straighter then an arrow, but for me, it was a turning point because this person cared about me as much as I cared about him. I loved him a lot, as a person, as a human being just like anyone else.
And so what brought me out of the closet with him, is that I couldn’t bare lying to him, I couldn’t live with constantly asking myself, what if…..what if I were honest with him, would he still have been the wonderful sweet friend that I thought he was? Would he reject me as I had anticipated from the rest of the world? .....to be continued
I grew up with many of the same fairy tales and fantasies as many of my friends did, dreams of finding that special someone to grow old with, someone to raise children with, to build a home together, have a dog, a white picket fence, the dream. The dream that each and every American usually has. It is my dream and has been my dream for my entire life.
I also grew up reading stories like Romeo and Juliet, tales about an unaccepted love and how two star struck lovers had to find love in the most desperate circumstances. Where they had to give up everything for each other, because that’s how deep their love ran.
You know as a gay man, I never thought that love would be my greatest calling, growing up in a world that told you, you were a pervert, ugly, strange, and a sinner, I always felt as if I would be cast away to the darkest corners of the earth. It’s why as a youth I felt so alone and so isolated from the world, scared to reveal this hidden truth about who I really was.
What brought me out of the closet wasn’t some class bully or an exposed act of discretion, rather it was the great love I had for a friend. It was the first time in my life I had ever had a best friend, a real friend, a person that would walk with me, stay with me after school and invite me to all the things he was doing. It was the greatest thing I ever had had, because for once I didn’t feel alone. No this was not some gay love affair, my friend is straighter then an arrow, but for me, it was a turning point because this person cared about me as much as I cared about him. I loved him a lot, as a person, as a human being just like anyone else.
And so what brought me out of the closet with him, is that I couldn’t bare lying to him, I couldn’t live with constantly asking myself, what if…..what if I were honest with him, would he still have been the wonderful sweet friend that I thought he was? Would he reject me as I had anticipated from the rest of the world? .....to be continued
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