What I think of labels and their connotations...

There are so many labels placed on us these days - from gay, bi, queer, trans, homo, dyke, etc. Do you identify with any of these labels, and if so, why?
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It’s been an interesting road coming out to the world. Before I was out, the world viewed me in one way. The assumption that I was straight came with it, all of these attitudes and beliefs about the kind of person I was. While some definitely might have thought I was gay, everyone treated me in a heterosexual fashion. And it’s not to say that a lot of the things I did while in the closet aren’t consistent with who I am, because to be honest, a lot of the things I did while I was in the closet I loved. I loved being involved in my school student council and leadership committees. I loved leading our volunteer and community service organization, Key Club. I loved playing on the soccer team and going to the state championship. I loved being in the symphony orchestra. All of these things were and are who I am, but the way I was perceived at that time because of the “word” or “identity” of “straight” made my peers view my participation in those activities as something a “boy” should do and that was normal. I would hang out with all the guys on the weekend, talk about random things, and just be one of the “boys”. Girls would still get crushes on me and keep a distance in that passive ways that “young ladies” get around people of the opposite sex.
Coming out, hasn’t necessarily reversed all of those things I used to do, but rather the world’s perception of me and the things I do. On the one hand, it’s hard to automatically be assumed completely feminine, because with that assumption comes the ousting from some of those things I used to love. In college, I was never asked by the guys to go shoot some hoops or kick a ball around, things I always enjoyed. It was assumed on their part that I just wasn’t interested or wouldn’t be good at such activities. My friendships with straight men has felt somewhat estranged, especially since college tends to be a time when one uncovers their sexuality and at that point sexuality is somewhat ambiguous for most people. I used to automatically be accepted into a group of guys, but now either the conversation changes completely when I come into a group and/or I am left out all together. In that sense, taking on an identity that has so many stigma’s, myths and stereotypes surrounding it has in part taken away from my humanity and the person that I am.
However, on the flip side, coming out has also been one of the best experiences of my life, because it has allowed me to be honest and true to the greater world. I can express myself on a much deeper level and am completely authentic in my soul and heart. The positive thing about accepting yourself for who you are and being able to say I’m gay, is the fact that the word and the connotations behind that word suddenly aren’t a threat any more. So what if I look “gay” expressing characteristics of my feminine side? So what if I decide to shave my legs one day, or even to express my emotions and feelings…something that “straight” men have a hard time doing because of the fear of being labeled “gay”. I am a greater whole by accepting who I really am, and while some opportunities have been taken away from me, I have gained even more. And just because the world has insecurities surrounding gender and sexuality doesn’t mean I stop being the person I am and doing the things I love to do.
So in a nutshell, labels suck and they can have both good and not so good consequences. However, the stereotypes and myths we surround those labels with are more of a detriment rather than the label itself. As one of my favorite professors once told me, “Celebrate, don’t exaggerate”. In that it is important to acknowledge a person for all of who they are; but to extend one single characteristic of that whole person into a plethora of ideas and assumptions our culture has created around that one character trait is wrong and damaging. I am a white, upper-middleclass gay male American who likes to think that they are a colorblind gender queer and label free global citizen, but in reality must use labels to navigate my way through this beautiful life I’ve been given and to communicate with all of the people that may come into it along the way.