My views on love, relationships and the potential of LGBT relationships and there impact on the greater society.

THis is my response to my own question placed to the MAtthew Shepard Foundation Youth Concil which I am a part of.

In the heterosexual world we've all grown up in, what is your concept of
love (or an intimate interpersonal relationship), especially between two
people of the same gender or as human beings in general? And how have you
come to that idea or conception?

³Love is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves² William
Shakespeare. I think that lesbian and gay relationships have the potential
to rock our entire world and its hopeless romantic notions of love and
commitments. I think our LGBT community offers a true test to the status quo
of relationships and that is, what does it mean when two people who are
completely equal in every way want to be together? What does that
relationship look like? How is it conceived in a world where gender roles
have played a huge part in the make up of relationships; where your gender
is the impetus for a relationship and what you do? Everything from courting
behaviors, to duties in marriage and the later years, gender has become a
pivotal piece to the make up of a relationship. Have you ever been asked by
someone about your gay or lesbian relationship, ³Who¹s the man, and who¹s
the woman?² Culturally we don¹t seem to be able to get away from this idea
of gendered roles within a relationship.
When as a community, we challenge those core beliefs and ideas about the
make up of love, I can¹t help but feel invigorated and overwhelmed with the
outcomes of what our love may mean for the greater world. Just imagine what
a relationship would look like if duties and responsibilities within a
relationship weren¹t dictated by a person¹s genitalia, but by the individual
desires of either person within that loving bond. In a same sex couple, who
opens the door on a date? Who pays? Who pulls out the other¹s chair? Who
proposes to whom? Who raises the kids? Who goes to work? Who does the dishes
or mows the lawn, and on and on and on? The greater question is do these
responsibilities have to be dictated by ones gender and what are the
implications of this fact?
For me, it means that within a heterosexual or homosexual relationship,
the bond becomes not about what roles are fulfilled, but about something
deeper and much more important, and that is the human spirit. The
interconnection between two people where what draws you to someone isn¹t all
of these societal expectations placed on us from birth, but the raw and
uncensored emotion that is created between two people within any
relationship. It means that whoever we are, we take more time to understand
one another, to communicate effectively and understand in-depthly the person
that you love. Love in its ideal becomes about the soul, the most authentic
part of a person and a relationship is born out of ones interconnection with
someone, rather than ones place in society as male or female. Love
transcends all obstacles of oppression, power, and dominance within our
world when we pause to value one another for all that we may bring to the
table as one human being to another.
I have come to this world view through my own personal relationships with
people; from the love of my family and friends to the very deep and raw
emotions of falling in love and falling out of love. It is the depth of my
heart and soul for people I care about that has helped me to appreciate the
full range of what love could mean. Love to me impacts every relationship
from the random person you meet on the street to the deepest and most
intimate interpersonal relationships you may have for the rest of your life.
When one acts in love, when one treats others with love, is when you
acknowledge another person¹s humanity.
If as a community we come to embrace one another in a human way; one that
is free from degradation, objectification, and discrimination, then we can
begin to have meaningful, deep and spiritual connections with other people.
Because of this, our movement has the opportunity to change the world. It is
our destiny to make love something of our own, something beautiful and wise.
The greatest thing about being a gay or lesbian person is that our love has
not been defined; a definition that can be as grand and colossal as we want
it to be, a love that is so deep and true that it can never be broken. ³Love
and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the
one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver² Barbara De Angelis.